Gut Punch

When I was in the 6th grade, I was being bullied by a kid.  He was pushing me, shoving me, blocking my path.  Pretty typical for bullying, and nothing too horrific, but it felt awful at the time.  One day in class, we were lining up for something, and he lined up behind me.  Almost immediately, the shoving began.  I had put up with this for weeks now, and I had reached a boiling point.  I quickly spun around with a clenched fist, and I hit him square in the stomach.

I audibly knocked the wind out of him.  Ugh.  And I thoroughly pissed him off.

He threw me to the grown and started pounding on me.

The teacher quickly broke it up, and we were sent to the Principal's office.  After much finagling, and some outright lying, this kid and I convinced Paul Scharest that it was all a big misunderstanding.  We avoided detention, and it seemed like, to a degree, we had reached a tenuous truce.  It was the first time I had hit somebody, and it was the first time I had stood up to a bully.

I got punched in the gut today.  I'm still trying to catch my breath.

I received word about the internal position for which I had applied.  I didn't get the position.  Turns out, as far as I'm told, nobody did.  This team received word yesterday that they would not be allowed to fill any open positions for the remainder of the year, and they aren't even sure if they will be able to fill them next year.

To say I'm disappointed is a bit of an understatement.  Part of me wishes they had just chosen the other candidate.  I know that sounds weird, but I guess I would have preferred to lose to something other than a shift in budget; at least that way, I would know that it was in my control.  The thing that most upsets me is the fact that I was allowed to go so far down the process.  Obviously decisions come down when they come down, and I'm sure the hiring manager had no idea two weeks ago when they started the interview process... but it seems odd to me that I would go through the rigors of interviewing only to have the position remain open.

I still have a job, and today is Friday, so it isn't all clouds around here, but I'm staggered.  I've had the wind knocked out of me.

Hopefully a weekend up north will help me breathe again.